Orchestrated Sarcasm

Who's ready for a cop-out blog?! I know I am!!!

So, I haven't blogged in quite awhile, and I'm not really in the mood to do so at the current time. Regardless, I wanted to give you, my very attractive readers, something new to read.

For most of my freshman year of high school, I kept a dream journal, hoping to apply my dream situations to writing short stories/a novel. Since that never happened, I guess I will share an entry with you.

This entry is from Spring Semester of my freshman year, and I apologize for the atrocious writing (I would like to note that all entries to my dream journal were made prior to 6:30 in the morning), but it was a pretty intense dream. So yeah, here it is! (Also, I titled my dreams after writing them out, don't judge...)


The Mob Attacks (2/5/2009):
So I went on a date with a really, really gorgeous person in my math class…and it seemed to be going really well, but out of nowhere, it just kinda ended…and I was in Hebron.

Okay, now the weirdness starts. I was walking and out of nowhere, a mob of people starts chasing me, saying something about the person I went on the date with; then, they started shooting at me? So, since I don’t live in Hebron anymore, I headed for Carmie’s house, but she wasn’t there. Naturally, after being shot at, chased, and having a date apparently sell you to the mob, I was totally going batty. So Carmie’s sister, Carrie (who was oddly the only one there) asked me, “omg, what the eff is wrong with you?!?!” To which I replied, “PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO EFFING KILL ME OKAY?!!” The next thing I knew, I heard gunfire again, so I started flipping out, and for some strange reason, Carmie appeared.

So, since people were shooting at us, and starting to come into the house, we decided that we needed to run, but Carrie, being the slut she is, got shot in the leg and couldn’t walk. I tried running without her but Carmie was like: “we can’t just leave her here!” And I replied: “are you sure you’re Carmen?!?!” Anywho, since I’m the man, I had to carry Carrie (weird to type, weird to say, weird to think). Then, we headed outside, to what used to be Hebron, but was now a strange, new, mountainous place (to top it off, it was suddenly snowing like a mom!).

As we were running, a giant hill (not quite a mountain) appeared in front of us; so, we climbed…and climbed….and climbed… As we approached the top we realized that there was a path going around the hill, and after we finished exchanging insults with each other about how stupid we all were, we had reached the summit. Looking around we could see nothing (aside from the mob that was still chasing us). Then, again out of nowhere, another version of Carmie’s house appeared on the other side of the hill; so what do we do? We run the eff down the hill of course! For some reason, although it had been snowing this entire time, the hill itself couldn’t be slid down (weird stuff).

Anyway, we got to the house, and ran inside; after I put Carrie down on the couch, I went to lock up the doors and windows. When I finished that task, I went to go back into the living room, which was now empty. Carmie and Carrie had vanished (along with all the furniture and stuff, it was just a room of nothing). Then, suddenly, the person I had gone on the date with in the beginning of my dream appeared and pulled a gun on me...then I woke up.

The End.

I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into the subconscious of yours truly. And I hope that you, my sophisticated audience, will share some of your past dream experiences; I would love to hear them!

Until next time, don't forget to be awesome!

Best Wishes!

So. Tomorrow morning is the first day of my junior year of college. Junior. Year. So close to graduating, yet with so much work ahead of me. I am so excited to be going back to classes; if nothing else, it gives me something to do.

Anyway, I got to thinking (an extremely dangerous activity) and it dawned on me that I am completely unsure of my future. I know I want to graduate with the majors I am currently in, but what am I going to do with my degrees? I am sure that I want to attend graduate school, but for what? What do I feel strongly enough about to want to put myself completely into working toward it? I am not sure as of yet, but I know that the answer will come to me, likely when I least expect it.

Back to the start of the semester. Not taking too many "difficult" classes, but they are all pretty work/time-intensive, so I really need to start developing a reliable system for time-management (not to mention a normal sleep cycle). The primary reason I say that the courses are work/time-intensive: I went to pick up my books for my courses, and I had to walk back to my room with a total of 20 books. This hurt not only my back, but also my hopes for having any free time this semester.

I feel jumpy, so let's talk about my future again. I have considered many different routes. I could go into grad school for English Literature, a path I would be glad to take; however, as a graduate student, I am not sure what my area of "research" could be. I mean, I've always been interested by the ways in which literature has developed over time, as well as how the genre of "young adult" literature emerged. But are these really unique subjects for research? Are they even appropriate?

I have also considered a future in linguistics (one of my minors). It fits pretty well. I mean, I love languages; I can't hide that. But then the same problem arises, what would I research? The primary areas of linguistics that interest me are German linguistics and forensic speech science, and I'm not sure how to build my professional future with either of those research areas.

This is my version of an emo kid who thinks that life is hard and the world is out to get me, so feel free to shun me while reading this, I'm just unsure of my future and need to get my life straightened out. For real though, I need to get my life together now. Just saying. Junior. Year.

Alright, now if you know me, you know that I'm not really much of an activist, but when something really bothers me, I am not afraid to say so. This is certainly one of those times.

I am a very strong supporter of the LGBTQ community, and as such, am not a huge fan of people who discriminate in general. If you are a discriminatory person, you should probably stop reading now. For real, stop reading.

This past year, a friend of mine (I shall not be using names) attended Concordia University in Nebraska: a private, Lutheran school that promotes a good, Christian education. Now, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against organized religion in general, and recognize the university's right to "create their own rules" as a private college with a religious affiliation; however, there has to be some kind of line that universities, even private ones, should not be allowed to cross (on moral grounds if for no other reason). Anyway, on to my moderately calm rage.

This friend of mine mentioned to me that some groups of students are not permitted to live on campus for reasons beyond his or her total control, if any control at all. Students, according to my source, are not permitted to live on campus if he or she is: pregnant, married, and to put the icing on the proverbial cake, homosexual. Now, I have neither confirmed nor denied this accusation toward the university, but if this is true, I believe that this particular rule is an extreme breach of the privacy of one's personal life. Now I understand that this school is attempting to promote a Christian community, but I personally know many Christians who identify as homosexual, and it doesn't affect their religious beliefs in the least.

Now, although the housing situation mentioned above has not been confirmed as of yet, it is stated in the student handbook/code of conduct (I will include an excerpt below), that a student can be punished for committing acts of homosexuality, another GROSS invasion of the student's privacy. Honestly, why is one's sexual activity such a topic of interest to the university. And who, if anyone, is a student harming in the process of being his or her own unique person. I was raised to believe that those who identify as homosexual are people, who just like anyone else, were created by God, and should not be discriminated for being different. How is this any different than discriminating someone based on his or her: race, gender, age, height, weight, or any other quality he or she cannot control?!

Excerpt from Concordia University's Student Handbook Code of Conduct:

2.03.B Conduct: Rules and Regulations
Any student found to have committed or to have attempted to commit the following misconduct is
subject to the disciplinary sanctions outlined in Section 2.04.B Sanctions** on page 78 for further
explanation of specific policies.
1. Acts of dishonesty, including but not limited to the following:
a. Cheating, plagiarism, or other forms of academic dishonesty.
b. Furnishing false information to any University official, faculty member, or office.
c. Forgery, alteration, or misuse of any University document, record, or instrument of
identification.
2. Disruption or obstruction of teaching, research, administration, disciplinary proceedings, other
University activities, including its public service functions on or off campus, or of other
authorized non-University activities when the conduct occurs on University premises.
3. Physical abuse, verbal abuse, threats, intimidation, harassment, coercion, and/or other conduct
which threatens or endangers the health or safety of any person, including oneself.
4. Attempted or actual theft of and/or damage to property of the University or property of a member
of the University community or other personal or public property, on or off campus.
5. Hazing, defined as an act which endangers the mental or physical health or safety of a student, or
which destroys or removes public or private property, for the purpose of initiation,
admission into, affiliation with, or as a condition for continued membership in, a group or
organization. The express or implied consent of the victim will not be a defense. Apathy
and/or acquiescence in the presence of hazing are not neutral acts; they are violations of this
rule.
6. Failure to comply with directions of University officials or law enforcement officers acting in
performance of their duties and/pr failure to identify oneself to these persons when
requested to do so.
7. Unauthorized possession, duplication or use of keys to any University premises.
8. Violation of any University policy, rule, or regulation published in hard copy or available
electronically on the University website.
9. Violation of any federal, state or local law.
10. Use, possession, manufacture, distribution or sale of illegal drugs or drug paraphernalia on
University premises or while on University business or at University activities, or in
University supplied vehicles either during or after working hours;
11. Unauthorized use or possession or manufacture, distribution, or sale of a controlled substance as
defined by the Federal Controlled Substances Act, 21 U.S.C. §§ 801 et seq., or Nebraska
Drug Control Laws, Neb. Rev. Stat. §§ 28-401 et seq., on University premises, or while
engaged on University business or attending University activities, in University supplied
vehicles;
12. Possess or display alcohol containers on campus. Be intoxicated or impaired from the use of
alcohol (including on/off campus and/or during a University sponsored activity). Use, sell,
possess (or have in his/her physical control), manufacture, or distribute alcohol by any
person under 21 years of age on or off campus. No person shall sell, give away, dispose of,
exchange, or deliver, or permit the sale, gift, or procure alcohol, to or for any person under
21 years of age. (See also Section 1.07 *Alcohol)
13. Illegal or unauthorized possession of firearms, explosives, other weapons, or dangerous
chemicals on University premises or use of any such item, even if legally possessed, in a
manner that harms, threatens or causes fear to others.
14. Participating in an on-campus or off-campus demonstration, riot or activity that disrupts the
normal operations of the University and/or infringes on the rights of other members of the
University community; leading or inciting others to disrupt scheduled and/or normal
activities within any campus building or area.
15. Obstruction of the free flow of pedestrian or vehicular traffic on University premises or at
University sponsored or supervised functions.
16. Conduct that is disorderly, lewd, or indecent; breach of peace; or aiding, abetting, or procuring
another person to breach the peace on University premises or at functions sponsored by, or
participated in by, the University or members of the academic community. Disorderly
Conduct includes but is not limited to: Any unauthorized use of electronic or other devices
to make an audio or visual record and/or depiction of any person without his/her effective
consent when such a depiction is likely to cause injury or distress. This includes, but is not
limited to, surreptitiously taking pictures of another person in a gym, locker room, or
restroom, etc.
17. Sexual immorality including sexual misconduct; fornication; homosexuality; use and possession
of pornography, rape, sexual assault, non-consensual sex (Non-consensual sexual behavior
includes, but is not limited to, the implied use or threatened use of force to engage in sexual
activity against a person’s will and/or engaging in such behavior with a person who is
unconscious, substantially mentally impaired - including intoxication - intentionally
touching another person’s genitals, buttocks, or breasts without the person’s consent.), etc.
18. Unauthorized entry into a file, to use, read, or change the contents, or for any other purpose.
a. Unauthorized transfer of a file.
b. Use of another individual's identification and/or password.
c. Use of computing facilities and resources to interfere with the work of another student,
faculty member or University Official.
d. Use of computing facilities and resources to send obscene or abusive messages; and/or
engage in communications and behavior that put at risk the student or campus
community.
e. Use of computing facilities and resources to interfere with normal operation of the
University computing system.
f. Use of computing facilities and resources in violation of copyright laws.
g. Any violation of the University Computer Use Policy (Section 1.17 Computer Technology)
19. Abuse of the Student Conduct System, including but not limited to:
a. Failure to obey the notice from a Student Conduct Board or University official to appear for
a meeting or hearing as part o the Student Conduct System.
b. Falsification, distortion, or misrepresentation of information before a Student Conduct
Board.
c. Disruption or interference with the orderly conduct of a Student Conduct Board Proceeding.
d. Institution of a student conduct code proceeding in bad faith.
e. Attempting to discourage an individual's proper participating in, or use of, the student
conduct system.
f. Attempting to influence the impartiality of a member of a Student Conduct Board prior to,
and/or during the course of, the Student Conduct Board proceeding.
g. Harassment (verbal or physical) and/or intimidation of a member of a Student Conduct
Board prior to, during, and/or after a student conduct code proceeding.
h. Failure to comply with the sanction(s) imposed under the Student Code.
i. Influencing or attempting to influence another person to commit an abuse of the student
conduct cope system.
20. Students are required to engage in responsible social conduct that reflects discipline of students
based thereon.
21. Breach of Student Handbook regulations including Section 1, 2, and 3.

**Considerations
The following sanctions or any combination thereof may be imposed upon any student found to have
violated the Student Code. Also, in making the determination regarding the level of discipline
sanction to impose the following is to be taken into account:

• The disciplinary history of a given student during the entire time the individual has been a student at the University therefore past violations of the student may be shared with the Student Conduct Board and the Appellate Board,

• The breach of the University’s conduct policy,

• The individual student’s culpability and character,

• The precedent set for future, similar offences on campus,

• The public message conveyed regarding the policy of Concordia, and

• The impact of the behavior on the victim.

The entire handbook can be located at:
http://www.cune.edu/resources/docs/StudentLife/latest-student-handbook.pdf


Like I said, I may not be much of an activist, but I will stand up for what I believe in. And I believe that what this university is doing is wrong. Regardless of the religious affiliation of the school, it should not be considered acceptable to discriminate and potentially discipline someone for his or her sexual preference. I apologize to my readers for this rant, but I just had to get this off of my chest. If you disagree with some of the things I said, that is fine, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, I suppose.

(Also, if you haven't noticed yet, the titles of each of my blog posts is going to be a song that you should probably listen to, but that also gives an insight to how I feel about what I wrote)

Best Wishes!

So it totally hasn't been over 3 months since my last post! Psh! Who did you hear that from?! Regardless, here we go.

I have been home from school for about 2 months now, and I miss it more than I ever thought I could miss anything. Not that I don't enjoy this whole "vacation" thing, I do. It is just, there is absolutely nothing to do in my hometown, unless you have a strange urge to visit one of our 11 churches. (11? 12?...somewhere in that realm)

Okay then, enough of that. Something exciting. *thinks momentarily* Oh right! So I went out to eat last night with a group of friends at a fast food joint known for its moderately addictive mexican-style deliciousness. There was this guy working, and he gave us our orders, plus drinks we didn't order, for free! How awesome is that guy! He was all like "don't worry about it, it's on me," and I was all like *swoon* for real. I think I am going to marry him one day, just saying.

In other news, I saw The Last Airbender and to be completely honest, I was extremely disappointed. I absolutely love the show it is based off of, but the film itself was just blah and inaccurate, which irked me beyond all belief. The thing I enjoyed most while watching the movie was the spot-on interpretation of Appa. Overall, I'd probably give the film a 3.75/10. And now I'm apparently a film critic. I think I have ADD, just throwing that one out there.

Well then, I see something shiny on the other side of the room, so I am going to go see what it is before it disappears into the abyss of my living room.

Best Wishes! DFTBA!

Wow, it has been quite awhile since my last post, and for that I deeply apologize (as I am sure my blogging skills may have began to deteriorate due to my lack of practice in the last month). Regardless of my skills, or lack thereof, this particular post comes to you, my devastatingly good-looking readers, in three moderately intertwined parts: John Green, Literature, and Vlogging.

Let us start with the most specific of the three portions of my rant, shall we? John Green: nerdfighting guru, (Printz award-winning) author, brother, vlogger, father, among a multitude of other attributes of which I could write an entire novel. This past month, a personal dream came true. I met John Green (well, technically, I listened to him give a speech on the positive aspects of blogging, and got my books signed, but still, pretty exciting). It all started with a very exciting trip during which a few of my friends were gathered, and we were off for our Indianapolis adventure! It was probably one of the best days ever, definitely the best day (personally) this semester; I will never forget it. I got to spend a day with my friends, see other nerdfighters, and to put the cherry on top of the proverbial sundae, meet one of my favorite living authors (if not my absolute favorite). *shameless plug* John Green's new novel, co-written with David Levithan, Will Grayson, Will Grayson is currently on pre-order on Amazon, and will be available in bookstores on April 6, 2010.

Now, given the cheesy nature of my previous title, you may be expecting me to go off on a rant about one of three topics:

1) A significant other;
2) A family member; or
3) Someone who has made a great impact on my life recently.

Considering I lack the emotional stability required to have a significant other, and I have not really been around my family lately, let's go with option number three. That is, only if the word "someone" is changed to "group of someones" (And now the ADD begins).

I have met some really awesome people in my life (I mean, I'm me, so I'm bound to meet SOME awesome people, right?), but never have I met a group of people who changed my life so drastically than the people I have met this school year -- my floormates, my friends.

Now, my floor friends come in 3 very important categories:

1) Breezy;
2) Not Breezy; and
3) Mike, the awesome RA.

I know this may be a little confusing at first glance if you don't really know me, but allow me to explain -- I spend: 1/3 of my day sleeping (8 hours), 1/12 of my day eating (2 hours), 1/4 of my day in class (6-ish hours), 1/12 of my day doing homework (2 hours), and the rest is usually spent texting, talking to, or hanging out with Breezy (6 hours). (Holy hyperbole, Batman!)

So, as you can see, Breezy is quite an important factor in my life. As a good friend once said to me, "you are in a relationship, without the benefits of a relationship." But I see it differently. Breezy is more like a clone of me, except y'know, with female reproductive organs and such. I like to think of Breezy as the sister I never knew I wanted, but now that I have met her, I can't imagine life without her. (Dear Jesus, I am in a relationship!)

Now let's move on to the other categories, "not Breezy" consists of pretty much all of the awesome people I hang out with on a daily basis. For example:

Every day I watch a certain television show (that is totally masculine and not about fashion at all), and nearly every time my good friend Cory will come out and join me. I know he probably doesn't want to watch the show, but it's okay, I like the company!

Another good example is my dear Rachel/Shanaynay (I don't have the heart to tell her she is only one person...I think it may be schizophrenia). On about a weekly basis, she and I walk to the bookstore together to peruse used books in hopes of finding a super-nerdy treasure that we can talk about for the entire week. Or we might go grab a coffee together, or a soda, no matter what we do, it usually ends up being a ginormous nerd-fest, and I love it!

On to the final category -- Mike is my RA this year, but he is also one of the best people I could have ever hoped to meet. I am glad I met someone that is just about as crazy as I am, and who I can go to in the middle of the night if something is wrong, just to talk about it. I also enjoy going on walks with Mike, as he apparently enjoys climbing things, pretending he is a superhero. (Side note -- he isn't pretending. Apparently, he is a registered "super hero" in 32 countries, a "guitar hero" in 10 countries, and a "level 63 sorcerer" in Narnia)

Alright then, it appears as if I have sufficiently bored you with my discussion of my various friends. For those of you I left out, I sincerely apologize (or maybe you should hang out with me more often, or give me a call, nobody is stopping you).

As I promised, I shall tell you about Alice in Wonderland. The film itself was "enjoyable" in the sense that it was very...Disney. That is not a bad thing, by any means, but I expected more reality/darkness from the team of Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham-Carter, and Alan Rickman. As my friend Rachel (or was it Shanaynay) pointed out, the film was kind of a cheese-fest. I love the idea of the movie, and I think they did a good job with the story, I just wish that they would have made it a little less...happy?

I also watched Ponyo, a Hayao Miyazaki film, with Rachel, Cory, and Mike (Breezy popped in and out). It was absolutely adorable, and further concludes my current notion that Miyazaki is an indisputable genius.

Well then, it appears as if I have run out of interesting (if that is what you classify the previous items mentioned) things to discuss, and therefore, will ramble until I find a decent way to conclude this particular post. I am not very good at good-byes, you see, so ending things can be a bit of a challe---

Best Wishes!

Cody

I really wish I had some super-mega-foxy-awesome way to start this off, but what better way to start off a new blog than with a HUGE clichéd title, right? Anyway, I am new to this whole blogging thing, and I am 95.43% certain that this will be quite noticeable in my writing style, for this, I give my deepest apologies.

Now to let you all in on something -- my identity. I generally answer to Cody, as well as Punkin', Li'l Chocolate-Covered Strawberry, Cupcake, Snugglepuss, Hey You!, and on occasion, Meghan (don't ask). I can generally be found at my university, but have also been known to lurk in dark alleys in the pitch dark of night. I study English literature, but in the past have been known to study pharmacy, chemistry, biochemistry, and theatre design; but, those days being behind me, I am completely content being your average, everyday English nerd (and by average, everyday I mean not entirely stable in the head).



At the risk of sounding self-absorbed, I shall tell you just a bit more about myself. Now that you know I am, in fact, a nerd, I will elaborate a bit upon this. I was not entirely truthful. I am not merely a nerd, fellow readers, but a nerdfighter. Allow me to define this term: Nerdfighter -- Noun -- A nerd, that is made not of bones/skin/organs, but is made of awesome; one who dedicates his or her life to the eradification of "world suck," that is, the aspects of the world that, in short, suck.

Now that the whole introduction/exposition thing is out of the way, there is something very important I wish to discuss with you -- BOOKS! And the sharing thereof.

One group of people, or website, rather, that has this system figured out is BookCrossing. With the aid of this website, anyone, anywhere can release books into the "wild" for other avid readers to enjoy, and subsequently re-release said books back into the "wild" and the cycle continues.

Recently, my friend Rachel (or Shanaynay, depending on her mood) and I have been attempting to get the BookCrossing revolution started at Purdue. Right, that is where I go to school, should have mentioned that earlier, sorry. Anyway, to make a long process a bit more concise, we make weekly trips to our local bookstore to purchase used books to release into the wild for others to enjoy. Unfortunately, our efforts have been futile, as it appears that people in the field of business/management do not wish to familiarize themselves with literature, not even haikus. However, the lack of success thus far has not deterred us from our goal: to promote literacy and camaraderie among those around us. We shall continue to purchase and release books in hopes that someone will partake in the literary masterpieces that we have placed before them.

On a completely unrelated note, I have had quite a few discussions about incest this week (how's that for an attention grabber?). In one of my classes, well, two of my classes -- irrelevant -- we have recently discussed the incestuous nature of some of the characters in Shakespeare's Hamlet, which is completely fine and dandy; however, last night, I watched a Hayao Miyazaki film with some friends and there were frequent hints of incest, both subtle, as well as blunt. The use of incest in this film, due to the fact that its targeted demographic is families, surprised me quite a bit. Well, that is about it, just thought incest would be a nice topic to end my first post on.

Oh, side note (because I'm not ADD enough already in this post), I am currently reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass in preparation to see the new Alice In Wonderland film tomorrow! I will be sure to let you know how that goes (the book, as well as the film)!

Don't forget to be awesome! Best Wishes!

Cody